Finding your voice and learning how to be more assertive can be a challenge. It may feel intimidating or insurmountable. But assertiveness is a skill you can develop and refine — and being an assertive communicator is a reliable way to get what you want in life.
In the following article, we’ll offer practical strategies and tips on how to be more assertive. These behaviors can help you work towards your goals and strengthen your relationships in your personal and professional life.
Introduction to Assertiveness
So, is assertiveness positive or negative? The answer is clear: When you’re assertive, you articulate your feelings, desires and needs directly and respectfully. People often mistake assertiveness for dominance, but the two are distinctly different. While dominance disregards other people’s feelings, assertiveness means standing up for yourself while acknowledging different perspectives.
Assertive communicators are straightforward, meaning people are able to understand them without confusion. They’re able to make choices for themselves without being swayed by others, and their self-confidence can be boosted as a result. People tend to respect assertive communicators as leaders, mediators and reliable partners.
Characteristics of Assertive Behavior
Assertiveness begins with examining your own self-confidence and self-worth. To be an assertive person, you have to believe your opinions are worth expressing and accept criticism and rejection as natural parts of life. An assertive person can say “no” when necessary, even when it might disappoint others.
More habits of assertive people include:
- Asking for help without guilt
- Defending their beliefs, even against public opinion
- Sharing their feelings without worry for judgment
- Managing their responses to others’ feelings
Practice makes perfect — and adopting these traits in your daily life will help you embrace assertiveness.
The Benefits of Assertiveness
1. In the Workplace
Assertiveness can make your voice heard at work. When you share your ideas with confidence, people pay attention. You’ll establish yourself as someone who can communicate clearly and make decisions, earning you respect from your team and your boss. With assertive communication, you can improve cohesion, build trust and help boost your reputation.
2. In Relationships
In close relationships, being assertive helps you be open with your feelings and needs. Being a diligent communicator can clear up misunderstandings before they happen. Assertiveness also involves good listening skills, which is a surefire way to better understand and connect with others in your life.
3. In Social Settings
Social gatherings can feel overwhelming, but with assertiveness, you can join in conversations without fear. You can also set boundaries where needed and express your views with confidence. Being assertive empowers you to resist peer pressure and share your opinions as you see fit.
Strategies for Developing Assertiveness
According to a recent study, both men and women tend to regard men as more assertive. But that’s a matter of perception — assertiveness is not a matter of gender and can be learned by anyone.
Below are some tips to guide you on the journey to more assertive living:
- Master the art of eye contact. A game-changer in communication, maintaining eye contact demonstrates confidence and enhances the sincerity of your conversations.
- Embrace “I” statements. “I” statements reflect your feelings and beliefs without pointing fingers. Instead of expressing frustration by telling someone “You’re always late,” try using an “I” statement that reflects your feelings — such as, “I feel disrespected when you don’t honor the time we set.”
- Utilize body language. Project assertiveness with the right body language. Stand tall, keep your chin up and maintain open postures to exude confidence.
- Learn to say no. It might seem harsh, but getting comfortable with saying “no” is a crucial first step in setting boundaries and earning respect.
- Monitor your emotions. Keep an eye on your emotional responses. An assertive individual acknowledges their emotions but doesn’t let them get in the way of being objective and considerate.
- Express positive feelings. Let your assertiveness be a conduit for positive expression. Be straightforward in a way that asserts your respect for others — after all, it’s not just about what you say, but how you say it.
Be More Assertive Today
Assertive communication promotes personal growth, but like most of these invaluable skills, it’s best developed with professional assistance.
Mental Health Hotline is dedicated to helping people like you find their voice by connecting you with experienced therapists across the United States. As a dependable free resource, we offer compassionate support 24-7 over the phone.
Contact us today to embark on the journey to a better you.