We’ve all encountered moments of disconnect in our conversations. It’s a common, shared experience that we typically chalk up to misunderstanding — but the true culprit may be different communication styles.
Think of it like this: Each of us has our own unique conversational fingerprint, a special way of bringing our thoughts to life. When these communication patterns intersect, they can clash, setting the stage for tension or even conflict.
In this article, we’ll explore different communication styles. Understanding these modes of communication can expand your point of view, develop your empathy and help you get your point across in any conversation.
Introduction to Communication Styles
So, what are communication styles? Every person communicates in their own distinct way. What you prioritize in a conversation — emotions, articulation, facts, and so on — determines how you express yourself and interact with those around you.
Some of us get straight to the point, while others come across with a gentler touch. Some dive headfirst into tricky conversations, while others prefer to tread more cautiously.
The good news? Our individual styles aren’t set in stone. With time and practice, you can refine your approach, making your connections with others more fruitful and meaningful. After all, good conversation is as much about being understood as it is understanding others.
Types of Communication Styles
Our communication style is an important aspect of how we interact with the world. Understanding these communication patterns can can be the key to strengthening bonds and better knowing yourself.
Here are the four main communication styles and how they may be affecting your relationships:
1. Passive Communication Style
Someone with a passive communication style tends to suppress their thoughts. A passive communicator might prefer being the listener during a heated debate among friends, keeping their own opinions quiet to avoid potential discord.
How it affects relationships: Keeping your thoughts to yourself might make others feel you’re distant or uninterested in them, leading to strain.
What to do: Don’t shy away from asserting yourself, sharing your thoughts and defining personal boundaries. Remember, your voice is important and has every right to be heard.
2. Aggressive Communication Style
Aggressive communicators have a tendency to impose their perspectives, disregarding others’ feelings or viewpoints. They can sometimes come off as dominant, blunt or impolite. In a friendly gathering they might forcefully debate their views, turning a casual conversation into a tense interaction.
How it affects relationships: Pushing others away can become a pattern, leading to fewer open communication channels and damaged relationships.
What to do: Tune in, pay attention to others and respect the diversity of perspectives around you. You may feel more engaged and listened to as a result.
3. Passive-Aggressive Communication Style
People with a passive-aggressive communication style express themselves indirectly. Their messages might be vague or subtly critical; they may omit key information and expect other people to keep up. An example could be when someone sarcastically praises a team member to disguise their annoyance.
How it affects relationships: The confusion and uncertainty generated from indirect communication can make relationships less secure and more volatile.
What to do: Open and direct communication builds a foundation for trust and eliminates misunderstandings. Other people can’t read your mind — tell them how you feel and they’ll respond in kind.
4. Assertive Communication Style
Assertive communicators have mastered the art of balance. They express their thoughts while equally respecting and considering others’. They may confidently share a proposal, yet eagerly invite peers’ insights during a team meeting.
How it affects relationships: Being balanced in conversation helps everyone feel valued. This builds stronger and more meaningful relationships.
What to do: If this sounds like you, keep up the good work and maintain the equilibrium between sharing your thoughts and considering the opinions of others.
Improving Your Communication Skills
If you recognize yourself in a less constructive communication style, don’t worry. It’s never too late to grow and adopt a more assertive approach.
Here’s how you can enhance your communication:
- Set boundaries to avoid miscommunication. Be clear and concise, and ensure your meaning is well understood.
- Decenter yourself in conversations. Whether it’s seeking validation or social stimulation, try to consider others and their viewpoints. It’s a win-win approach that fosters healthier communication and relationships.
- Listen more. Respectful conversations begin with attentive listening. Hear others out fully before responding; it shows you value their insights.
- Be human with others — but remember, they’re human too. The best conversations are a two-way street. If you’re sharing your feelings with someone, don’t forget that they have feelings too and may even have something to share with you.
- Ask open-ended questions. Rather than simply yes or no queries, engage in conversations that allow for more thoughtful and detailed responses. Get the other person thinking more deeply and interested in opening up.
- Adapt to your audience. Always be mindful of whom you’re talking to and adjust your approach to create a comfortable environment for communication.
We Can Help
Communication is a fundamental, and it can feel daunting to change. Whether you find yourself fading into the background or dominating the room, you don’t have to be stuck in your ways. It starts with reaching out to a mental health care professional to guide you.
That’s where the Mental Health Hotline comes in. We partner with top mental health care providers nationwide, connecting you with specialized experts. When you’re ready, reach out to speak with a compassionate professional.