How Helicopter Parenting Can Negatively Affect Child (Anxiety/Depression)

Helicopter parenting, characterized by overprotectiveness, excessive involvement and control, often stems from good intentions. Parents want the best for their children, and hovering may feel like a way to ensure safety, success and well-being. But research continues to show this parenting style can backfire, especially when it comes to mental health.

While it’s natural to want to shield children from pain or failure, doing so too often can hinder their emotional growth. Helicopter parenting has been linked to a range of mental health challenges in children and adolescents, including increased anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and poor coping skills.

In this article, we’ll explore what helicopter parenting is, how it affects child development and what parents can do instead to support healthy independence.

What Is Helicopter Parenting?

The term “helicopter parent” was first coined in the 1960s by teens who described their parents as hovering over them constantly. This parenting style typically includes behaviors such as:

• Making all decisions for the child
• Intervening in every challenge, even minor ones
• Monitoring social interactions excessively
• Shielding the child from any perceived risk or discomfort
• Structuring every moment of a child’s day

Helicopter parenting differs from simply being attentive or involved. It’s an overextension of care that inhibits the child’s autonomy and problem-solving abilities. The result may be short-term comfort but long-term emotional consequences.

How Helicopter Parenting Fuels Anxiety in Children

One of the most well-documented outcomes of helicopter parenting is increased anxiety. Children raised in overcontrolled environments may internalize the belief that the world is unsafe and they’re incapable of managing it alone.

Here’s how helicopter parenting can foster anxiety:

1. Fear of failure. When parents rush in to solve problems, children don’t learn how to tolerate discomfort or setbacks. They may develop a deep fear of failure, worried that they’ll disappoint others or that they can’t handle challenges on their own.
2. Overreliance on authority figures. Kids raised by helicopter parents may constantly look to adults for reassurance and decision-making. As they grow older, they may struggle with independence and confidence in their own choices.
3. Lack of exposure to stress. Stress tolerance is built through small, manageable exposures. When parents shield children from all forms of stress, even mild frustration, they may grow up without the skills to cope when real stressors inevitably arise.

A 2017 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that higher levels of parental control were linked to increased anxiety and lower self-efficacy in children. The researchers noted that overcontrolling parenting may limit children’s sense of agency and contribute to emotional difficulties.

The Link Between Helicopter Parenting and Depression

In addition to anxiety, helicopter parenting has also been associated with increased risk for depression. While many factors contribute to depression, including genetics, environment and trauma, parenting style plays a significant role in how children learn to regulate their emotions and view themselves.

Some of the depressive symptoms linked to helicopter parenting include:

• Low self-worth. Constant intervention can send the message that a child isn’t capable or trustworthy, leading to a fragile sense of self.
• Learned helplessness. When children aren’t allowed to make decisions or learn from mistakes, they may feel powerless in their own lives.
• Social withdrawal. Overprotected children may not have the opportunity to build social skills, leading to isolation and difficulty connecting with peers.

Depression in children may not always look like sadness. It can also manifest as irritability, fatigue, disinterest in activities or changes in appetite and sleep. In adolescence, the emotional impact of helicopter parenting can be especially pronounced, as teenagers crave independence and identity development.

Developmental Consequences of Overparenting

The effects of helicopter parenting go beyond mental health. It can influence academic performance, career readiness and even physical health.

• Delayed coping skills. Children need the opportunity to fail, learn and try again. Helicopter parenting deprives them of this process, leaving them unprepared for the real world.
• Increased dependency. Overparented children may struggle to take initiative, manage time or make decisions without external validation.
• Difficulty in relationships. Emotional regulation and conflict resolution are skills learned over time. Children who aren’t allowed to navigate disagreements or misunderstandings on their own may find relationships stressful or confusing.

Finding the Balance: Supportive Parenting Without Hovering

The opposite of helicopter parenting isn’t neglect. It’s supportive, responsive parenting that encourages independence while still offering guidance.

Here are some ways to foster resilience and autonomy in children:

1. Encourage problem-solving. When a child encounters a challenge, ask open-ended questions rather than immediately stepping in. For example, “What do you think you could try?” or “How do you want to handle this?”
2. Let them experience natural consequences. Allowing kids to face the consequences of their choices (within safe boundaries) teaches responsibility and builds emotional resilience.
3. Praise effort, not perfection. Focusing on effort and growth rather than outcomes helps reduce performance anxiety and promotes a growth mindset.
4. Support age-appropriate risk. Whether it’s climbing a little higher on the jungle gym or trying out for a school play, kids need chances to challenge themselves in order to build confidence.
5. Model healthy emotional expression. Talk openly about your own feelings and how you manage them. This normalizes emotional regulation and creates space for your child to do the same.

When to Seek Help

If your child is showing signs of anxiety or depression or you’re concerned your parenting style may be contributing to distress, it’s okay to ask for help. A family therapist or child psychologist can provide guidance, tools and a nonjudgmental space for growth for both children and parents.

Recognizing the pattern of helicopter parenting doesn’t mean you’ve failed. In fact, noticing it and being willing to adapt is a powerful act of care.

Frequently Asked Questions