Encouraging a family member to seek therapy can be an act of love, patience and deep concern. When someone we care about is struggling emotionally or mentally, it’s natural to want to help, but knowing how to do that in a supportive and respectful way isn’t always straightforward.
This guide explores how to talk to a loved one about mental health care, what to avoid and how to be a steady support system as they consider getting help.
Why Some People Avoid Therapy
Despite growing awareness, stigma around mental health is still common. In fact, more than two-thirds of people with mental health conditions aren’t receiving care. Many people see therapy as something only for those in crisis, or they worry about being judged by others.
Some other common barriers include:
- Fear of being labeled “weak” or “broken”
- Worry about costs or insurance coverage
- Belief that their problems aren’t “serious enough”
- Cultural or generational differences in how mental health is viewed
- Bad past experiences with therapy or treatment
Understanding where your loved one is coming from helps you approach the topic with empathy instead of pressure.
Start With Listening, Not Convincing
Before offering solutions, be a safe place for them to talk. Start with open-ended questions like:
- “How have you been feeling lately?”
- “Have you been feeling more stressed or overwhelmed than usual?”
- “Do you ever think about talking to someone about what you’re going through?”
Avoid jumping into “fix-it” mode right away. People are more open to suggestions when they feel heard and not judged.
Use Gentle, Supportive Language
Tone matters. Your goal isn’t to tell them they need therapy but to encourage them to consider it as a normal, helpful tool. You might say:
- “You don’t have to go through this alone. Talking to a therapist might really help.”
- “I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling [anxious/down/stressed], and I just want to make sure you’re getting the support you need.”
- “I care about you, and I think it could help to talk to someone who really understands.”
Avoid statements that might feel critical or dismissive, like:
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “Just get over it.”
- “Everyone goes through this; you’ll be fine.”
Offer to Help With the Process
Even when someone wants therapy, getting started can feel overwhelming. You can offer real help by:
- Researching local therapists or online options
- Helping them check insurance coverage or find affordable care
- Offering to drive them to their first appointment
- Sharing your own (positive) experience with therapy, if you’re comfortable doing so
Just taking the first step can feel like a huge hurdle, and being there for them in a practical way may make all the difference.
Respect Their Autonomy
Encouragement isn’t the same as pressure. If they’re not ready, don’t force it. Pushing too hard can backfire, causing them to shut down or become defensive.
Instead, keep the door open. Let them know you’ll be there if and when they change their mind, and continue to support them emotionally in the meantime.
Know When to Involve a Professional
If your loved one is showing signs of severe distress, suicidal thoughts or unsafe behaviors, it may be time to take more immediate action.
In these cases, contact a mental health hotline or crisis line for guidance:
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988 from any U.S. phone
- Mental Health Hotline: Call 866-903-3787 for 24-7 support
You can’t force someone to want help, but you can take action if they’re in immediate danger.
Be Patient, Stay Present
Change doesn’t happen overnight. Someone might need time, space and continued support before they’re ready to take action.
Your consistency — showing up, checking in and listening without judgment — sends a powerful message: You care, and you’re not giving up.
FAQ: Encouraging a Loved One to Seek Therapy
Use gentle, nonjudgmental language. Frame therapy as a supportive option instead of a punishment or correction. Ask open-ended questions, and express care rather than concern.
If they’re not ready, don’t push. Respect their autonomy while continuing to offer emotional support. Sometimes planting the idea is enough for now.
Yes, you can call a hotline like the Mental Health Hotline to ask for guidance. You can also help your loved one research options or make an appointment if they’re open to it.
Look for changes in behavior, mood, energy levels, sleep or appetite. Isolation, irritability, persistent sadness and frequent anxiety are also red flags.
Absolutely. If they’re open to it, attending a session together (such as family or couples therapy) can be a great way to ease into the process.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Encouraging a family member to seek therapy can be difficult, but you’re not alone in the process. Support is available for both you and your loved one. If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, reach out to the Mental Health Hotline to talk with someone who can help guide you through next steps.
