Picture this: You’re excited to start therapy and improve yourself. You find a therapist, attend a few sessions and start thinking to yourself, “I don’t like my therapist.” If this scenario sounds familiar to you, know that you’re not alone. Keep reading to find out how to tell your therapist you’re leaving and get some tips for finding a therapist who suits your needs.
Am I Normal If I Don’t Like My Therapist?
So, you’ve been thinking, “I don’t feel connected to my therapist,” and you’re wondering if that’s normal. The truth is, yes, it’s perfectly normal not to connect with your therapist. To put things into perspective, you probably don’t click with every person you meet.
Finding a therapist is like finding a friend or a romantic partner. Many people have to “date around” before they find “the one.” Therapists are people too, and they have different styles and approaches to their work. It’s unlikely that the first therapist you try out will be a perfect match for you. One study found that the average American goes through three therapists before they find one they connect with.
Is It My Therapist or Me?
Some people try a therapist, find that the sessions aren’t going well and end up thinking, “Maybe I don’t like therapy.” This could be true, but the likelier explanation is that some aspect of the therapy isn’t working for you.
Maybe your therapist isn’t feeling right for you. Therapy is a raw, vulnerable moment for a patient. You’ll never be able to get to a place where you open up about all your insecurities and fears if you’re not feeling comfortable and supported by your therapist. This is why it’s so important that the therapist and patient connection is there.
Another reason therapy might not be feeling right for you could be the type of therapy you’re in. There are many therapy styles, and each person can respond better to some than others. If you’re engaging in conventional “talk therapy,” you might be finding it’s not working well for you. Instead, you might want to try other types of counseling, such as support groups or guided self-help.
Lastly, you could have ended up with a bad therapist. There’s a bad seed in every crop, no matter the profession.
Here are some warning signs of a bad therapist that you should run from:
- The therapist has terrible online reviews.
- They don’t listen to what you’re saying.
- They take away from your session to talk about themselves.
- They break confidentiality.
- They’re insensitive to your background or beliefs.
- They encourage you to blame your problems on others.
How to Tell Your Therapist You’re Leaving
Your therapist is a professional who’s lost clients in the past. They also understand that you need to work with someone you feel comfortable with to achieve real results. Don’t worry that you’re hurting your therapist’s feelings or being rude. Send them a short email saying you’ve decided to work with someone else and give at least 48 hours cancellation notice before your next appointment. It can be as simple as that.
One Bad Therapist Isn’t the End to Your Therapy Journey
A therapist you didn’t connect with shouldn’t be the reason you stop therapy. Ensure you’re not just looking for an out in seeking help. You began searching for a therapist for a reason: You wanted and needed help. Commit to finding the right person to help you.
Before you move on to the next therapist, reflect on why your previous therapist didn’t work out. Make sure you’re not making up superficial reasons so you can say you tried to find a therapist and it didn’t work out.
Create a list and examine why the therapist wasn’t a good fit for you. This list can be an excellent tool as you navigate your search for the right counselor for you.
And remember, if you don’t connect with a therapist, you don’t have to give them a second shot. Sometimes, you can tell in the first session that the person isn’t right for you. If that’s the case, don’t waste your time and money trying to make it work.
If you’re ready to try a new therapist, contact the Mental Health Hotline (MHH) today. MHH partners with reputable mental health care providers nationwide to get you the help you need. We can put you in touch with dozens of local therapists so you can find the right one for you.