Living with someone with OCD

Living with someone with OCD

Has someone you love recently been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)? Perhaps you’ve been coping with a loved one’s OCD for some time now but are struggling to find balance. Living with an OCD partner can be frustrating for both parties, but there’s hope and help.

At Mental Heath Hotline, we partner with trained professionals to help people with mental illness and their loved ones find mental health resources in their area or locate hotlines with compassionate counselors available 24/7.

Today, we’re looking at actionable ways to support someone with OCD.

Learn More About OCD and Its Impact on Your Loved One’s Life

There’s a world of difference between joking about “being OCD about cleaning” and truly living with obsessive-compulsive disorder. OCD isn’t a mental illness that’s focused on complete perfectionism. Rather, it’s a condition in which someone seeks control and calm through rituals or specific behaviors.

Following behavioral compulsions can affect your loved one’s job performance, relationships, and even their physical health, as they may not be able to eat or sleep without completing certain tasks. Learn how OCD affects your friend so you can understand why certain treatments can help release them from their compulsions.

Provide Support With Compassion

Helping someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder is challenging for many who don’t understand why their loved one “can’t just stop.” Although your friend’s rituals or behavior patterns may look unnecessary to you, to your loved one, they’re a vital way to cope with everyday life. Showing grace and love as they work through therapy is critical to providing true support.

Encourage Your Loved One to Try OCD-Specific Treatment Options.

Some types of mental health therapy, like CBT or DBT, may be used to treat many kinds of mental illnesses, and it’s true your family member may benefit from this type of therapy. Other kinds of treatments are specifically tailored to OCD. You may be able to participate in some alongside your loved one.

Create an Ordered Environment and Structure

A clean, well-organized home helps reduce stress for someone working through OCD therapy. Routine and structure are important so your loved one knows what to expect daily — or even hourly. Ask your loved one’s therapist if removing certain objects or rearranging a particular room would positively impact their compulsion to complete their routines.

Foster Open, Trusting Communications

Always remember it’s the OCD that’s upsetting everyone in the family, not the person themselves. Avoid comparisons between one day and the next, as the road to recovery isn’t linear. Some days are good, and some days the person may seem to take steps backward.

If you notice signs that indicate someone is retreating to their old behaviors, provide a gentle reminder like “Look at the changes you’re making. It’s normal to have flare-ups,” instead of snapping at the person to “just quit doing that!” Conflict and combativeness make it harder for the person with OCD to heal. Managing your expectations can help you create a communication environment that makes them more comfortable talking to you when stressed.

Avoid Being an Enabler While Remaining Supportive

Some families have spent months or years accommodating the person’s OCD symptoms and flare-ups. However, family accommodation behaviors may actually enable the person’s behavior and undermine the strides they make in therapy.

Instead, consider making a family agreement that it’s in everyone’s best interest not to participate in rituals. On paper, many people with OCD can agree to this, but when the refusal happens in the moment, it can easily be perceived as rejecting or being mean.

Some families find attending support groups for people affected by the OCD of their loved ones to be helpful. Or, a family therapist can help with understanding OCD in relationships and give all of you healthy coping strategies to help your loved one.

Encourage Self-Care for You and Your OCD Partner

Self-care is a broad set of actions and behaviors that help you and your loved one be mentally, physically, and emotionally healthier. Let’s get one thing straight: Self-care isn’t necessarily self-indulgence. You may crave ice cream but know that eating a whole half-gallon is unhealthy, for example. Self-care in this situation would be treating yourself to a single serving, preserving a balanced diet.

Some common self-care behaviors include:

  • Regular exercise
  • Eating healthy meals
  • Spending time outside
  • Meditation and mindfulness
  • Making time to work on a favorite hobby
  • Getting the right amount of sleep

Everyone in the family can benefit from a healthy self-care routine. You may find that participating in some of these activities together strengthens your bond and facilitates communication.

OCD Support Resources Near You

Are you or a loved one seeking OCD resources in your area? Do you need help finding an in-network physician or therapist? Maybe you just need to talk confidentially about your frustrations. Mental Health Hotline partners with trained professionals to provide the specific help you need.