Have you noticed patterns in your family that feel bigger than any one person? Maybe there’s a history of unspoken grief, a tendency to avoid conflict at all costs or a sense of fear nobody can quite explain. These could be signs of generational trauma.
It’s surprisingly common for a legacy of unresolved pain to be passed down through families, often without anyone realizing it. About 6% of people experience post-traumatic stress disorder, and the effects can carry over to descendants. Once you recognize the signs, however, you don’t have to carry this weight any longer. By understanding how trauma moves across generations, you can start to heal, not just for yourself, but for your children and grandchildren.
What Is Generational Trauma?
Generational trauma, sometimes called intergenerational trauma, refers to emotional, psychological or cultural wounds that affect multiple generations within a family or community. It often originates from large-scale events, such as war, genocide, systemic oppression, forced migration or abuse.
Here are a couple of examples of how families experience intergenerational trauma:
- Families affected by slavery or racial discrimination might internalize fear or mistrust that influences parenting styles decades later.
- Refugees who survived violence may unintentionally pass down hypervigilance or survival-focused behaviors to their children.
How Trauma Is Passed Through Generations
Trauma doesn’t disappear when the original survivors pass away. It lingers in subtle, often invisible ways. Here are a few ways it can affect families across multiple generations.
Behaviors and Unspoken Rules
Families develop coping mechanisms to survive hardship, but these can become harmful over time. A parent who grew up in poverty might hoard food or discourage spending, even when they have plenty of money. Children then inherit these habits without understanding their roots.
Emotional Patterns
If a parent or grandparent endured abuse, they might struggle to express affection, leading to emotional distance in later relationships. Kids raised in this environment may repeat the cycle, believing closeness is unsafe.
Cultural or Community Trauma
Entire groups can carry shared trauma. Indigenous communities affected by colonization, for example, often face grief stemming from their loss of traditions, land and identity. This collective pain can influence mental health for generations.
Biological Changes
Epigenetic research reveals that trauma can modify how genes function. These changes don’t rewrite DNA but add “markers” that affect how genes are activated. For example, research has shown that exposure to violence can have physical and mental health effects, not just on the person who experienced it but also on their descendants.
Signs and Symptoms in Individuals and Families
Here are some signs of generational trauma to look out for in yourself or others:
- Emotional reactivity. It’s common to feel intense anger, sadness or fear in situations that remind you of family trauma.
- Physical health issues. Chronic pain, autoimmune disorders and digestive problems are common in people affected by generational trauma.
- Relationship struggles. Fear of abandonment, difficulty trusting others or repeating toxic dynamics (such as choosing a partner who’s abusive in the same way as a parent) can be long-term effects.
Some signs of generational trauma can be apparent in the way families operate:
- Silences and secrets. Some families avoid talking about certain topics, such as a grandparent’s past or a cultural heritage.
- Repetitive conflicts. Even in adulthood, family members might get caught up in sibling rivalries or competitiveness. This behavior often stems from having to fight for attention early in life.
- Extreme beliefs. Some families pass down life lessons, such as “Never ask for help” or “Success is the only way to be loved,” even when those strategies no longer apply to the situation.
Healing and Breaking the Cycle
Generational trauma can have devastating effects on families, but there’s hope. With the right support, it’s possible to break the cycle and overcome the trauma.
Step 1: Name the Pain
Start by acknowledging the trauma exists. Talk to older relatives if possible, or research your family’s history. Look for patterns, such as addiction, sudden losses or cultural disconnection. Journaling prompts including, “What stories were never told in my family?” can uncover hidden threads.
Step 2: Seek Professional Guidance
There are various options out there to start breaking down the layers of intergenerational trauma in your family.
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- Family therapy. Therapists can help untangle communication barriers and identify inherited patterns.
- Trauma-focused approaches. Internal family systems therapy or culturally sensitive therapy can be helpful.
- Community support. Groups focused on shared identities, such as racial trauma survivors, provide validation and create an environment for collective healing.
Step 3: Create New Rituals
Replace harmful patterns with intentional practices. If holidays are tense, try a new tradition where everyone shares hope for the future. If you feel disconnected from your background, try cooking ancestral recipes to reconnect with your cultural roots in a positive way.
Step 4: Practice Reparenting
Heal your inner child by giving yourself what earlier generations couldn’t provide. Comfort yourself during stress, telling yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way,” and allow yourself to reach out for help. Set boundaries to protect your energy, even if doing so feels unfamiliar.
Step 5: Advocate for Systemic Change
Generational trauma often ties to broader injustices. Volunteering, activism or supporting marginalized communities can transform your inherited pain into a sense of purpose.
Your Healing Matters More Than You Know
Breaking generational trauma doesn’t mean blaming the past. Try to see it as an opportunity to shape your future. Every small step you take toward healing ripples outward, offering hope to those who came before and those who’ll follow.
Reach Out for Help
Mental Health Hotline can connect you with therapists who specialize in family trauma, cultural healing and epigenetics. Whether you’re ready to explore therapy, need tools to start conversations with loved ones or just want a safe space to process, we’re here. Reach out today!
