People are usually happy to see a doctor to improve their physical health, but they’re often less receptive to the idea of therapy. A good therapist can help people work through a variety of issues if they approach the sessions with an open mind. If you’ve ever wondered what to talk about in therapy and what a therapist can work on with you, this article is for you.
What to Talk About in Therapy: Shame and Gratitude
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, as of 2022, 1 in 5 American adults was living with some form of mental illness. While some mental health symptoms can be managed with drug treatments, therapy is an invaluable form of treatment too. There are many things to work on in therapy, including:
- Understanding past events and how they serve as a frame of reference for things happening today
- How to manage emotions, set boundaries and cope with the specific challenges in life
For people recovering from addiction, therapy can be a safe space to work through their issues. It serves as a chance for them to understand why they turned to drugs or alcohol and learn new ways to cope with those issues. A therapist might help their client find things to be grateful for and help them use those things as motivation for their recovery.
Another common topic is shame. This is a frequent emotion among people struggling with depression and anxiety and one that must be addressed as part of recovery.
Every individual’s circumstances and struggles are different. A person may have many things to work on in therapy, whether the therapy is for PTSD, addiction or depression. A good therapist listens and steers the conversation, so the patient shouldn’t have to worry about what to talk about in therapy. The therapist guides the conversation based on things they uncover in each session.
The Role of Shame in Addiction Recovery
Shame is one of the most common therapy topics, especially for people struggling with addiction. The emotions of guilt and shame are normal responses to having hurt someone or done something wrong. Outside a therapy context, the words “guilt” and “shame” are often used interchangeably, but to therapists, there’s a difference. Shame is a primary emotion and a social one. Feeling some shame is healthy and can be an important part of building social bonds. Someone battling addiction may feel shame for:
- Feeling inadequate that they can’t control their substance abuse
- Hiding their addiction from loved ones
- Having turned to certain behaviors in the pursuit of drugs or alcohol
Shame can drive people to want to stop their actions and make amends. This is positive, and it’s something that can be harnessed in recovery to motivate a person. However, this must be balanced with the need to prevent shame from becoming a toxic or harmful emotion.
How Shame Can Hinder Progress in Recovery
Shame becomes toxic if it becomes something a person hangs on to for too long. Therapists work with their clients to help them process shame healthily. It’s unhealthy for a person to allow feelings of guilt to become “I am a bad person” instead of the healthier view of “I did some bad things while in the grip of addiction.” Chronic or unhealthy shame can hinder the recovery process and lead to self-sabotaging behaviors.
The way a person responds to shame also matters. A healthy response is to be aware of the shame and attempt to make amends. Some people try to mask their feelings and may respond to shame by becoming angry or lashing out at the people they’ve wronged. This can become a cycle of damaged relationships, unhealthy coping mechanisms and more shame. Breaking the cycle of drug or alcohol use without addressing this response can be difficult.
Strategies to Overcome Shame During Recovery
Overcoming shame isn’t always easy, but with the help of a therapist, it’s possible. During therapy, people learn coping strategies that help them reframe their thinking to:
- Practice gratitude and mindfulness
- Build improved awareness of their emotions
- Learn to accept their past as something that made them who they are today
- Cultivate self-acceptance
- Build a support group to help them during difficult times
For some, finding a new support network is an important part of recovery. For example, if you struggle with alcohol and your main social activity has always been going to bars, you may need to find new hobbies or activities you can use to pass the time without being around your addiction. Learning to set boundaries with friends and family members without isolating yourself is something a therapist can help with.
Rebuilding Self-Esteem After Overcoming Shame
Addiction can have a significant personal, professional and academic cost. The task of rebuilding life after addiction can feel insurmountable, but it’s possible. The same skills learned in therapy to overcome shame can help rebuild self-esteem. By practicing gratitude and mindfulness, treating yourself compassionately and keeping an eye on the future instead of the past, you can start to build a new, healthy life.
Get the Help You Need for a Lasting Recovery
If you’re struggling with your mental health or battling drug or alcohol addiction, call the Mental Health Hotline today. Our trained professionals are here to listen to and support you. We can connect you with the resources you need for a lasting recovery.
