As of 2022, an estimated 12.6% of all adults reported seeking counseling in the past year. Therapy is growing more popular as people realize the importance of prioritizing their mental health. But if you’ve never been to counseling before, starting can feel overwhelming. You may have lots of questions like what therapy is like, how long therapy sessions are and what happens in the first session. Keep reading to get a complete rundown of what starting therapy will be like.
Common Questions About Therapy
First, let’s tackle some of the most common questions newcomers have about therapy.
1. How Long Are Therapy Sessions?
Therapy sessions are most commonly 40-50 minutes long. This gives the therapist a little time between sessions to write down notes, take a break and prepare for the next client.
2. Do I Have to Keep My Therapist If I Don’t Like Them?
Therapy works best when you feel comfortable with the counselor and trust is built between you two. If you don’t like your therapist, it’s best to keep searching until you find the right one.
One 2022 Health survey found that 48% of people had to see two or more therapists before they found the right fit.
3. Will Therapy Help Me in One Session?
It helps to view therapy as a long-term commitment. It takes time to unravel problems, identify triggers and mental health conditions and learn healthy coping mechanisms. Don’t expect to feel “cured” or “all better” within one session, or even three, four or five. This will take time, but it’s one of the best investments you can make in yourself.
4. How Should I Prepare for My First Therapy Session?
Wondering how to prepare for therapy? How much you prepare is up to you. Remember, counseling is for your benefit. It’s important to ask yourself what you hope to achieve by going to therapy. In a first session, sharing your goals with your therapist can be helpful so they know what to work toward.
Preparation is helpful but optional. Your therapist will also help guide you through this first introductory session by asking many questions to get to know you better.
Breaking the Ice: How the First Session Usually Starts
Your first therapy session will be a “get to know each other” session. This is an opportunity for you and the counselor to have some back-and-forth so you can identify if you’re a good fit for one another.
Depending on how quickly you open up to the therapist, you may or may not get into deep discussions.
However, many patients are shocked by how draining therapy can feel — even the first session. Digging deep into your inner thoughts and feelings takes a big emotional toll. While counseling is highly beneficial, it’s common to leave sessions exhausted, overwhelmed and sometimes sad. As you continue with therapy, this will likely lighten and you’ll start to leave sessions feeling empowered, understood and liberated. But this takes time.
In this introductory session, your therapist will likely have the following goals:
- Understand why you’re seeking counseling
- Tell you about the therapist’s specific approach to therapy so you can understand if you two will be a match
- Learn more about you and your background
Questions Your Therapist Might Ask
Here are some of the questions your therapist might ask in the first session:
- What brought you to therapy?
- What do you hope to achieve from going to counseling?
- What current concerns or problems are you dealing with?
- Can you tell me about yourself and your childhood so I can better understand you?
- Have you tried therapy before? Why was or wasn’t it successful?
Remember: It’s Okay to Feel Nervous for Your First Session
It’s hard to walk into a room and immediately tell a stranger your darkest fears and thoughts. This is why establishing a relationship and building trust with your therapist is essential. You don’t have to dive straight into deep trauma right away.
Remember that it’s okay to feel nervous about starting with a therapist. Even people who’ve gone to therapy for years face these feelings when they start over with a new counselor.
Give yourself grace and time to get comfortable. It might take two or more sessions before you truly open up, and that’s okay. Start slowly and get to know your counselor.
However, even if you’re nervous, ensure you’re committed to the process. While you may not have to open up immediately, it’s important to always be honest and transparent and share what you can. If you’re not ready to discuss something, simply state that boundary with your counselor.
What You Should (and Should Not) Do in Your First Therapy Session
Here’s a quick rundown of what’s appropriate (and not) for your first session:
- Do. Share your reasons for seeking counseling.
- Do. Share your hopes about the outcomes of going to a therapist.
- Do. Share a bit about yourself and your life story.
- Do. Allow yourself to feel your emotions.
- Don’t. Book a second session if you don’t like the therapist. Try someone new instead.
- Don’t. Lie when answering questions. Therapy can only be successful when you’re honest with your counselor.
- Don’t. Shut down and refuse to communicate. A counselor can only do their job and help you if you’re open and honest with them.
- Don’t. Ask a lot of personal questions about your therapist. The session is about you — not them.
- Don’t. If you’re doing teletherapy, don’t take the session in public. This can prevent you from feeling fully comfortable.
- Don’t. Drop a huge piece of information as you walk out the door. If you have a revelation or something you want to explore, you need to make sure your therapist has time to respond.
Ultimately, try not to focus too much on “what not to do.” Your therapist is the expert and professional in the room. You can share that it’s your first time trying therapy; they’ll guide you through the experience.
Take the First Step With Mental Health Hotline
If you’re ready for your first therapy session, finding a therapist near you has never been easier. Mental Health Hotline partners with reputable mental health care providers all across the United States. Reach out today — there’s someone here for you 24 hours a day.
