We’ve all experienced it at some point: You’re sitting in a lecture or with a friend and your mind starts to wander while the other person talks. You begin thinking about what’s for dinner or what you plan on doing the upcoming weekend. Active listening takes more effort and is one of the most important communication skills.
When actively listening, you remain fully engaged with what the person is trying to say. It can help build stronger relationships and improve how you connect with others. The following article lists the key elements of active listening, provides tips and tricks to improve your listening skills and details the benefits of active listening.
What Is Active Listening?
According to approximately 64% of all employers, active listening is a highly sought-after leadership skill. In addition, when you’re looking for a therapist, you want to choose one you feel you can talk to and who listens to your thoughts and feelings.
The art of active listening goes beyond giving someone your full attention when they speak. It involves remaining engaged during a conversation by offering feedback and comments. While active listening can take practice, it helps enhance communication, builds trust and reduces the chance of being misunderstood.
Key Elements of Active Listening
To become an active listener, you must practice and master several skills. Active listening techniques can take practice but can greatly improve relationships. The five key elements of active listening are:
- Paying attention. Concentrate on what’s said. Use all your senses to stay fully engaged. Put away your phone, avoid daydreaming and give the speaker your full focus. Pay attention to the speaker’s body language, and avoid talking to others.
- Offering nonverbal cues. Use nonverbal cues to let the speaker know you’re listening. Maintain eye contact, nod your head and use facial expressions to show you’re fully engaged. Note your posture and remain turned in the direction of the speaker. Small verbal comments, such as “Yes” and “I see,” can also help show you’re paying attention.
- Providing feedback. When the speaker finishes, paraphrase what you’ve heard and ask questions without judgment. If you’ve misunderstood anything, the speaker can then clarify the message.
- Refraining from judgment. Allow the speaker to express their ideas without judgment. It’s okay to offer feedback, but allow the person to fully express their thoughts and ideas. It’s also important to avoid interrupting, even if you have strong feelings about what’s being said. Give the speaker your full respect.
- Responding when appropriate. Nothing is accomplished by attacking the speaker for their thoughts and feelings. Be honest and open in your responses, but do so in a respectful manner. Treat the speaker as you’d like to be treated.
Techniques to Improve Listening Skills
Communication is one of the most important parts of any relationship. It helps build trust, emotional connections and respect. When you learn to communicate with others, you create an environment that allows them to express their feelings, thoughts and needs without feeling rejected. A lack of communication can ruin even the best relationships. If you want to get to know someone better and build a stronger bond, it’s vital to learn the art of active listening.
The three aspects to active listening are:
- Cognitive. When someone speaks, you must understand what’s being said. You receive the information and comprehend the meaning.
- Emotional. It’s important to manage your emotions during a conversation. This includes learning to stay calm while avoiding negative reactions. You should also learn to manage boredom or lack of interest.
- Behavioral. When someone speaks, convey your interest verbally and nonverbally.
It takes time and practice to get better at listening. Try to integrate the following communication skills into every conversation:
- Repeat words and phrases. One simple trick is to repeat key words and phrases to let the speaker know you’re listening to what they’re saying. By stating ideas back to the other person, you remain on track and ensure you’re following along with the message.
- Avoid paraphrasing. Sometimes we change the overall message when we put things into our own words. Only rephrase ideas when you’re confused and trying to better understand what’s being said.
- Add nonverbal cues naturally. Nonverbal cues are an excellent way to show you’re listening, but you should only incorporate these actions when they come naturally. If you’re constantly reminding yourself to nod and hold the speaker’s gaze, you may end up distracting yourself from the message.
- Ask questions. Ask an abundance of questions. You’ll make the speaker feel heard and give them a chance to elaborate on their thoughts and feelings. It also helps ensure important ideas don’t get overlooked.
- Minimize distractions. Nothing’s worse than trying to talk to someone when they’re staring at their phone. Put away anything that could cause you to divert your attention from what’s being said.
- Don’t practice your response. Allow the conversation to flow freely. Don’t spend time while the person is talking to rehearse your questions and reactions in your head. Stay focused, take in as much information as possible and respond accordingly.
The Benefits of Active Listening in Relationships
Every interaction with others is an opportunity to improve the relationship. When we practice active communication skills, we gain multiple benefits.
- Stronger relationships. When you listen, you give the impression the other person matters. This helps build stronger relationships and mutual respect.
- Resolve problems. To solve problems, you have to talk about them. Through active listening and effective communication, you can clear up any misunderstandings and come to an agreement.
- Identify issues. Talking to one another makes it possible to identify underlying issues.
- Gain knowledge. When you spend more time listening than talking, you have the opportunity to learn about and understand topics better.
Contact Someone Who Listens to Help With Communication Skills
If you’re struggling to find someone to listen, contact the Mental Health Hotline. Our compassionate professionals can connect you with the help you deserve.