You may have heard the phrase “parasocial relationship” in headlines, interviews or documentaries. It’s a term used to describe a type of relationship that’s one-sided. But when does a parasocial relationship cross over from normal to concerning? Keep reading to learn more about this unique relationship dynamic and the warning signs that things have gone too far.
Parasocial: Meaning and Definition
Parasocial relationships are one-sided. An infatuated person exerts time and energy toward another person, but the recipient is unaware of their existence. To the infatuated person, the relationship can feel very real, and they can believe they’re receiving attention from the other person in covert ways.
The most common examples of parasocial relationships are with celebrities and public figures. Social media is particularly linked to parasocial relationships. This is because social media can make famous people feel accessible, which can help convince people that they have a personal connection.
However, parasocial relationships don’t always have to be with a famous person. One can be formed with a professor, barista or television character.
Sociologists Donald Horton and Richard Wohl first coined the term parasocial relationship in their 1957 article Mass Communication and Parasocial Interaction. Their article studied individuals who reported having intimate bonds with radio and television personalities despite never meeting them.
Are All Parasocial Relationships Unhealthy?
Originally, parasocial relationships were seen exclusively as unhealthy and delusional. However, recent findings have shown that they can be healthy and harmless and are quite common. In fact, one study found that 51% of Americans have likely been in a parasocial relationship, but only 16% will admit to it.
In many cases, parasocial relationships can be healthy. Someone might form an attachment to their favorite character in a television show or look up to their favorite Olympic athlete for ambition and inspiration. Or, an LGBTQIA+ teenager struggling with their sexual identity might form a parasocial connection to an LGBTQIA+ celebrity who makes them feel understood and seen.
However, if the feelings become obsessive and interfere with everyday living, the relationship can be considered unhealthy and dangerous. This is especially true if the person starts prioritizing their parasocial relationship over the real relationships in their life.
Why We Develop Parasocial Relationships
People most often assume a parasocial relationship as a coping mechanism. When someone feels lonely and sad, they may create this nonexistent relationship in their head for companionship. After all, it’s human nature to want social connections.
Research supports this loneliness theory. In 2022, a study found that rates of parasocial relationships increased during the COVID-19 pandemic as a way to combat the isolation people were feeling.
At times, loneliness can be the reason for a parasocial relationship. But there are other potential reasons for forming this bond, including:
- Escapism. A parasocial relationship can allow an individual to daydream and escape from the monotony of daily life.
- Media exposure. Frequent exposure to a famous person with similar beliefs and values can cause you to form a perceived connection with that person.
- Perceived friendships. Parasocial relationships are more than just someone focusing on a person they’re attracted to. Experts say that a parasocial relationship is more likely to form when the infatuated person relates to the other’s personality and would befriend them in real life. They inherently recognize them as someone who has the potential to be a friend.
The Signs of Parasocial Relationships
Parasocial relationships aren’t always an issue, but it can be helpful to know when you’re in one. Some of the signs of a parasocial relationship are when a person:
- Has an invested interest in a person or character that doesn’t know about them
- Goes out of their way to look for updates on a person, such as news articles, social media posts and interviews
- Daydreams about having conversations or interactions with the person
- Writes letters or sends messages to the person
- Feels like they miss the person if they don’t frequently check in on them through videos, social media posts, TV, etc.
- Admires the person and wants to emulate their attributes
- Gets jealous of the person’s close relationships
Staging an Intervention
If you know someone who seems to be experiencing a parasocial relationship and the intensity is increasing, an intervention might be necessary.
When parasocial relationships become all-consuming, they can prevent the infatuated person from participating in their own life and relationships because they’re so dedicated to this one-sided relationship. In extreme cases, parasocial relationships can even potentially lead to stalking.
An intervention from friends and family might be necessary to bring the individual back down to earth. They need to be reminded of the fact that this perceived relationship is one-way and shouldn’t be a priority.
When staging an intervention for a loved one in their parasocial relationship, remember the following tips:
- Only invite people who are close to the person and will contribute meaningfully to the intervention.
- Encourage everyone to use “I” statements when speaking. Using “you” statements (i.e., “you make me feel”) can make the person feel attacked.
- Ask everyone to write down their thoughts and feelings beforehand so they’ve considered what they’ll share.
- Have suggestions on what you think the person needs to do to get better.
When it comes to helping a person break up with their parasocial relationship, here are some helpful actions that can be taken:
- Take a break from social media and online searches. If the individual is infatuated with a famous person, they’ll need to limit their ability to look the person up for updates.
- Focus on real relationships. The individual should focus on the genuine, meaningful relationships in their life. They should reconnect with friends, family, coworkers and other loved ones.
- Consider therapy. Talking to a counselor can be incredibly helpful in understanding why the parasocial relationship got so intense and learning coping mechanisms to ensure it doesn’t happen again.
Find a Therapist With Mental Health Hotline (MHH)
A therapist can help you better understand the impact of your parasocial relationship. The Mental Health Hotline can help you find the right therapist for your needs, as MHH partners with reputable mental health care providers nationwide. Contact us today to get started.
