Grief is a natural reaction that comes with losing someone we love. The anguish we experience can come in waves and increase or decrease with intensity over time. Learning how to let go of grief is one of the most important things you can do for your mental health, but it can be challenging at times. This article details how grief impacts our mental health, identifies the normal stages of grief and the benefits of processing it and provides tips on how to process grief.
Why Unprocessed Grief Can Impact Mental Health
Failing to deal with grief productively prevents individuals from processing the strong emotions associated with loss. In fact, grief can affect all aspects of life, destroying relationships and damaging your physical and mental health. Approximately 10% of grievers require an extended grieving time and face mental health issues, such as major depression or post-traumatic stress disorder, due to the loss of a loved one.
Common Stages and Expressions of Grief
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist, wrote the book On Death and Dying, which helped define the five stages of grief most terminally ill patients go through. Grief tends to follow the same stages. However, not everyone experiences grief the same way. You may not go through each stage, you may not go through them in order and the time you spend in each stage may vary.
- Denial. Denial is the beginning stage of grief and may appear differently from one person to another. One may have difficulty believing the loss is real, while another may feel it’s difficult to move on. It’s common to feel numb during the bereavement process. Some may continue their lives as if nothing happened, while others may spend time crying and feeling sad.
- Anger. Death may often seem unfair, especially if you lose someone very young or someone you had plans with. Anger is a common emotion to experience with loss, which may manifest as blame. You may also have a short temper and lose your patience easily as you blame the world for your loss.
- Bargaining. Depending on your beliefs, when you lose someone you love, you may try to bargain with God or a higher power, telling them you’ll do anything if they take away the feelings of sadness.
- Depression. Losing someone important can cause feelings of overwhelming sorrow. During this stage of depression, you may isolate yourself from others, avoid social situations and turn inward to process your emotions alone.
- Acceptance. Acceptance is the final stage of healthy grieving. This stage may take months or even years to achieve. At this point, you’ve learned to deal with the good and bad feelings of loss. While you still think about the person, the pain isn’t as intense or may have even changed as you learn to move on.
Benefits of Actively Processing and Expressing Grief
Processing and expressing grief are important for healing and for your mental well-being. This includes acknowledging the pain, talking about your loss and finding ways to honor and remember your loved one positively. By choosing healthy methods of expressing grief, you can learn to let go of the intense emotions and gain a deeper understanding. Positively dealing with loss may also make it easier to navigate these feelings the next time someone close to you passes.
Processing grief may also prevent the development of mental health issues that are often associated with the loss of a loved one, such as depression and anxiety.
Healthy Ways to Cope With and Process Grief
While there’s no wrong or right way to grieve, there are healthier ways to manage the situation.
- Stay busy. Engage in activities that keep you busy, such as hobbies and interests. Volunteer at your local homeless shelter, write your thoughts in a journal, join a gym or sign up for continuing education classes. Find a way to channel your energy to put your mind elsewhere.
- Practice self-care. There are many ways to practice self-care, including taking a hot bath, listening to music, joining an online gaming community or praying. Spend some time outdoors taking a walk or hiking, which releases endorphins and can elevate your mood. Self-care can have a significant impact on your physical, emotional and mental well-being.
- Join a grief support group. Grief and bereavement support groups are available to help individuals deal with emotions and can help reduce feelings of anxiety. Talk to your physician or local hospice center about locating the closest groups in your area. Some groups meet online in chat rooms or in video meetings, while others meet weekly or monthly at local churches, community centers or hospitals.
- Reach out for support. When you’re ready, talk to your friends and family about your loss. Chances are they’ve experienced loss and can offer insights and advice on managing your feelings.
- Seek professional help. A mental health professional provides a safe space to discuss the hard feelings of loss. Whether you reach out online or in person, sometimes it’s best to talk to a neutral party.
- Be patient with yourself. Keep in mind that not everyone processes grief in the same way. There’s no right way to “get over it.” Take the time you need to properly work through all of your feelings.
Learn How to Let Go of Grief
Whether you’re looking for a mental health professional in your area to help you learn how to let go of grief or you need someone to talk to immediately, contact the Mental Health Hotline to speak to one of our caring counselors. There’s someone available 24-7 to take your call.
