How to Help Someone Experiencing an Anxiety

Anxiety can be an overwhelming experience for both those living with it and the people who care about them. If someone you love is struggling with anxiety, whether it’s generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, social anxiety or specific phobias, you might feel unsure how to help.

You’re not alone in that uncertainty. Anxiety disorders affect nearly 1 in 5 adults in the United States in a given year. Many people want to offer support but don’t know what to say or worry about saying the wrong thing. The good news is that your presence, empathy and encouragement can make a real difference in someone’s mental health journey.

Below, we explore what anxiety looks like, how to support someone with anxiety effectively, what to avoid and when to seek professional help.

Recognizing the Signs of Anxiety in Someone Else

Before you can support someone, it helps to understand what anxiety looks like. Anxiety isn’t always obvious; it doesn’t have to include panic attacks or visible distress. Common signs a loved one may be struggling with anxiety include:

• Trouble sleeping or staying asleep
• Increased irritability or restlessness
• Withdrawal from social interactions
• Frequent worry or rumination
• Avoidance of certain places, people or situations
• Changes in eating habits
• Physical complaints like headaches, stomachaches or fatigue
• Trouble concentrating
• Panic attacks or shortness of breath

If you notice a pattern of these symptoms, it may be time to gently open a conversation.

Why Your Support Matters

Anxiety often leads to isolation and self-doubt. Many people feel ashamed of their symptoms or worry they’re a burden to others. By simply being present without judgment, you can help your loved one feel less alone and more supported. Your involvement doesn’t mean solving their problems; it means walking alongside them as they navigate their path.

What to Say to Someone With Anxiety

You don’t need perfect words. The most helpful thing you can do is listen with empathy. Try phrases like:

• “I’m here with you.”
• “That sounds really tough. Want to talk about it?”
• “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
• “I may not understand exactly, but I want to support you.”

Avoid minimizing phrases like “Just relax,” “Calm down” or “You’re overthinking it.” These can feel dismissive and increase shame.

How to Support Someone With Anxiety: Practical Strategies

1. Listen Without Trying to Fix

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is be a calm, compassionate presence. Let them vent, cry or sit in silence — whatever they need.

2. Offer Grounding Tools

During anxious moments or panic attacks, grounding can be helpful. Try:

• 5‑4‑3‑2‑1 method. Name five things you see, four you feel, three you hear, two you smell and one you taste.
• Box breathing. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4 and hold for 4 again.
• Cold water or temperature shifts to calm the nervous system.

3. Encourage Healthy Distractions

Invite them for a walk, play calming music or suggest light activities that help shift focus away from their anxiety spiral.

4. Respect Their Boundaries

Avoid pushing social events or challenges that feel overwhelming. Let them lead, and offer alternatives if plans feel like too much.

5. Support Their Efforts to Get Help

Offer to:

• Help research therapists or support groups
• Sit with them while they make an appointment
• Accompany them to a first session

Let them know help is available and they deserve to receive it.

What Not to Say to Someone With Anxiety

Supporting someone with anxiety also means avoiding common missteps. Here’s what not to say:

• “Just calm down.”
• “It’s all in your head.”
• “Others have it worse.”
• “You’re being dramatic.”
• “Haven’t you tried meditating?”

These types of comments can invalidate their experience and make it harder for them to open up again.

Techniques That Can Help With Anxiety

You can gently suggest or model tools that might support their mental health.

Immediate Coping Tools

• Deep breathing or box breathing
• Progressive muscle relaxation
• Journaling anxious thoughts
• Guided meditation apps

Long-Term Strategies

• Regular exercise or movement
• Balanced sleep routines
• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
• Medications (like beta-blockers), if prescribed
• Mindfulness and stress-reduction practices
• Joining an anxiety support group

Supporting Teens or Children With Anxiety

If your child or teen seems anxious, create safe, predictable environments and offer emotional validation. Avoid overly pushing them into feared situations; instead, work together to build confidence through small steps.

Use open-ended questions like:

• “What’s been on your mind lately?”
• “Is there anything you wish I understood better?”
• “What helps you feel calmer when you’re overwhelmed?”

When in doubt, involving a pediatric therapist can be a powerful support.

When Is Professional Help Necessary?

Anxiety is highly treatable, but sometimes it needs professional support to resolve. Seek help if your loved one:

• Has frequent panic attacks
• Is unable to perform daily tasks
• Experiences anxiety that’s getting worse
• Is using substances to cope
• Has intrusive thoughts or suicidal ideation

In crisis situations, don’t wait. Call 988 or reach out to a local mental health crisis line.

Frequently Asked Questions