If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Someone is waiting to help 24-7; you just have to reach out. Mental Health Hotline is geared towards putting you in touch with local resources, and is not appropriate for a suicide crisis.
You’re here because you’re wondering what to do if someone is suicidal. It’s a scary situation, but with the right steps, you can help this person.
Recognizing the Warning Signs of Suicidal Ideation
First, it’s essential to understand if the individual is genuinely suicidal. Most likely, you have a reason for these suspicions. Still, to help you validate the situation, here are common warning signs a person is experiencing suicidal ideation:
- Talking about dying and death
- Talking about feeling like a burden
- Expressing feelings of extreme shame or guilt
- Talking about feeling hopeless or trapped
- Experiencing unbearable pain (physical or mental)
- Increasing alcohol or drug use
- Researching and planning ways to die by suicide
- Taking dangerous risks, such as driving fast
- Withdrawing from people
- Saying goodbyes
- Displaying extreme mood swings
- Eating much less or more
- Sleeping a lot less or more
- Giving away money and prized possessions
- Making arrangements, such as a will and funeral details
Another common phenomenon, known as “smiling depression,” is when someone who has prolonged, severe depression suddenly seems joyful. This could be because they’ve decided to end their life and they’re calm and energized about their decision. The happiness results from their belief they’ve finally found a way to end their pain.
What to Do if Someone Is Suicidal
Here’s what you can do if you believe someone you know is suicidal:
Consider the Warning Signs
Now that you know the warning signs of suicide, ask yourself if the person has been displaying any. If you suspect they have, meet with them as soon as possible and have a straightforward discussion about your concerns.
Ask Them Questions
Try to confirm your suspicions. You can do this by asking the person questions about how they’re feeling. You should approach the conversation with care, but you need to be direct.
You can ask questions such as:
- How have you been coping with life lately?
- Do you ever feel like just giving up?
- Have you been thinking about dying?
- Do you feel alone or hopeless?
- How have you been sleeping?
- Do you feel like a burden to others?
- Do you feel trapped in your situation?
- Have you thought about suicide now or in the past?
- Have you tried to harm yourself before?
- Do you have a plan for how and when you’d commit suicide?
- Do you have access to weapons?
- Has someone close to you died by suicide?
- Have you found yourself drinking or taking drugs more?
By asking these questions, you’re showing the person that they’re seen and you care. It also opens the door for you to take additional steps if they admit to suicidal thoughts.
Emergency Intervention
If the person admits they’ve recently tried to commit suicide, step in immediately, especially if their failed attempt didn’t dissuade further thoughts of suicide.
Try to convince them to go to the emergency room with you. Don’t leave them alone. If you don’t feel equipped to handle the situation yourself, ask the person who they’d feel comfortable adding to the conversation.
Lastly, if the person is unwilling to listen to your pleas to get support, you may need to call 911. Remember, this isn’t a betrayal. You’re saving this person’s life. Once they get help, they’ll see your actions as the support they so badly needed.
What Not to Say or Do
Talking to someone about their suicidal ideation involves a serious and delicate conversation. Here are some quick tips:
- Don’t minimize their thoughts or feelings.
- Take all threats seriously. Don’t dismiss them or tell the person they won’t go through with it.
- Be nonjudgmental and empathetic. It’s not helpful to lay blame, such as pointing out the pain suicide will cause their loved ones.
- Don’t promise to keep their intentions a secret. You’ll need to involve professionals, and it’s best to be up front about that to get them onboard quickly.
- Don’t leave them alone.
- Don’t allow them to have access to anything they can use to harm themselves.
When and How to Involve Professionals
The most important step if someone is suicidal is to act as soon as possible. Depression is a serious and potentially life-threatening disease. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 49,000 people died by suicide in 2023. But depression is highly treatable. Once someone gets the help they need, they can recover and eliminate thoughts of self-harm.
The other critical step you must take is to convince them to get help. You aren’t a mental health professional. As much as you want to help your suicidal friend, any support you offer is temporary. Ultimately, they must speak to a therapist for a proper diagnosis and treatment.
As soon as you feel relatively sure the person is suicidal, find a way to add professional support. In most cases, since suicide is such a high-risk situation, you’ll need to go to an emergency room, call 911 or call the suicide hotline. Let the professionals step in and help your loved one so they don’t end up harming themselves.
Resources for Support and Crisis Intervention
Primary sources for suicide support are:
- 911. You can call emergency services to get immediate support for someone who’s suicidal.
- Emergency room. You can take someone who’s experiencing suicidal thoughts to the closest emergency room for professional help.
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988 for free, confidential support available 24-7.
Don’t Forget to Care for Yourself
Having to fear that someone in your life is suicidal is a big burden to handle. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Consider speaking to a mental health professional yourself to ensure you’re okay as well.
