Honesty is a character trait most find important, but some people seem to have trouble telling the truth. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Why do I lie so much?” or you suspect someone you know might be a compulsive liar, you’re in the right place.
What Is a Compulsive Liar?
Compulsive lying, also known as pathological lying, is when a person habitually lies without a clear benefit or reason. Unlike occasional white lies or fibs, compulsive lying can become a chronic behavior that disrupts relationships and trust. Compulsive liars often weave elaborate stories and may even start to believe their own fabrications.
Many professionals within the mental health community make a distinction between compulsive and pathological lying. While pathological lying involves a motive, such as boosting one’s reputation, compulsive lying is simply a habit of telling frequent untruths. Pathological lying affects between 8% and 13% of people.
Signs and Symptoms of Compulsive Lying
Recognizing the signs of compulsive lying can be challenging, but there are some common symptoms to look out for.
- Frequent lies. Compulsive liars often tell lies regularly and habitually, even about trivial matters.
- No reason to lie. If there’s an obvious reason to keep telling lies, such as trying to hide an affair from a partner, the person isn’t likely to be a compulsive liar. Compulsive lying involves lying when there’s little or no reason to do so.
- Elaborate stories. The lies are usually detailed and complicated, which can make it hard to distinguish fact from fiction.
- Truthful elements. The lies often contain some elements of truth but are highly embellished.
- Inconsistencies. A compulsive liar’s stories might change when retold, leading to contradictions.
- Improve self-image. The lies often paint the liar in a positive light, such as by making them seem more interesting, qualified or heroic than they really are.
- Lack of guilt. Compulsive liars generally don’t show remorse or guilt after lying.
- Attention seeking. Many compulsive liars crave attention and may lie to feel more important or interesting.
Compulsive Lying vs. Common Emotions
It’s important to differentiate compulsive lying from behaviors driven by common emotions like stress or sadness. People might lie occasionally to avoid stress, protect someone’s feelings or escape an uncomfortable situation. However, these lies are usually isolated incidents and not a habitual pattern.
For example, someone who struggles with anxiety might often lie to friends about why they can’t take part in activities. These lies are driven by fear and shame about the anxiety rather than by a compulsion to lie.
In contrast, compulsive lying is a persistent and pervasive behavior. While stress or sadness can sometimes trigger lying, compulsive liars tend to lie regardless of their emotional state.
Other Conditions That Are Similar
Compulsive lying can sometimes be confused with other conditions or behaviors. Compulsive lying can be a symptom of the following conditions, but in these cases, it’s far from the full picture.
- Narcissistic personality disorder. People with NPD may lie to boost their ego and manipulate others.
- Borderline personality disorder. BPD can cause people to lie impulsively due to fear of abandonment or unstable self-image.
- Antisocial personality disorder. This disorder often involves deceiving and manipulating people for personal gain.
- Impulse control disorders. Compulsive lying might be part of a broader difficulty in controlling impulses.
Understanding these distinctions can help in identifying the root cause of lying behavior. This, in turn, helps with seeking appropriate treatment.
The following situations might also lead to people speaking untruths. However, in these situations, the person isn’t lying but rather is mistaken in their beliefs.
- Delusions. When people believe something that’s false to be true, it can look like they’re lying. However, the motivation is very different.
- False memories. False memories, although controversial in the psychological field, are incidents a person remembers that either didn’t happen or didn’t happen the way the person thinks they did. A person expressing a false memory can sound like a liar, even though they’re sincere in their belief.
Next Steps to Take
If you suspect you or someone you know might be a compulsive liar, taking the following steps can be beneficial.
- Self-reflection. It’s important for a compulsive liar to acknowledge their behavior and its impact on their life and relationships.
- Seek professional help. Therapists and counselors can help uncover underlying causes and develop strategies to address compulsive lying. If you’re not sure why you lie so much, working with a therapist is a great way to get answers so you can begin to understand and overcome the condition.
- Be patient and supportive. If someone you know is a compulsive liar, it’s important to offer support and encourage them to seek help without judgment. Treatment is far more effective when the individual acknowledges their problem and wants to change rather than accepting help due to being pressured by others.
- Build trust. Compulsive liars and their families need to work on rebuilding trust through honest communication and setting boundaries. Where the lying has damaged an intimate relationship, couples counseling may be helpful to rebuild trust in the partnership.
- Education and awareness. Learning more about compulsive lying can help affected people and their loved ones understand and deal with it effectively.
Get Help for Compulsive Lying
The compassionate support provided by Mental Health Hotline can help compulsive liars make positive changes. Compulsive lying can be challenging, but with the right resources, it’s possible to overcome this behavior and build healthier, more honest relationships. Remember, seeking help for compulsive lying is a sign of strength and a crucial step toward a better future. There’s someone here for you 24 hours a day, so why not reach out right now?
